Wallowa Mountain Campfire Co.

Behold.

Not since the invention of fire has there been such a leap in technology regarding campfires. Well the marshmallow was probably more important but aside from that it goes fire, then marshmallows and then this.

Introducing the Wallowa Mountain Campfire Company. A better way to burn stuff.

Here's the deal: this stuff comes with wood just like all the other bundles of campfire wood in the world, but hey wait a minute here . . .  also kindling, newspaper to crumple up and a couple matches to get it going? This is taking convenience too far.

Made with grass fed, free range Wallowa County trees that are only cut during a waning moon. The beauty-following smoke in this firewood is a special formula, designed to pay a compliment and keep the mosquitoes at bay, while not driving you away from the cheery blaze.  

Get this stuff while you can, because I don't know how long I'm going to want to wrap up sticks and paper – but for now these rascals are available at Joseph Hardware on Main Street in Awesometown – and only available at Jo Hard because, like I said, I don't know how much I want to be wrapping up sticks of firewood.

But this is a matter of principle for me because it's always offended my sensibilities that people pay a bunch of money for a little bundle of wood.

I wrote a column about it years ago and pissed my neighbor off who sold bundles of firewood and I could have done without that.

Finally decided that if noone else was going to package everything up you need to start a fire, then it would have to be me.

There's even a premium S'mores package that comes with the firewood, kindling and all that, plus fixin's for a marshmallow roast and S'morefest.

Now go camping.