Please Don't Splash Me: Cage Match On the River

Thirty teenagers. Water, water everywhere. Teenagers squirting and throwing water everywhere. It's odd, but I don't know a river guide that enjoys water fights.

Paul caught in the melee. Hang in there Pauly.

It's part of the deal and I'm all for people enjoying themselves on float trips -- but something about getting shot in the eye with a stream from a Super Soaker just doesn't excite me.

So when two rafts are about to engage in a water exchange, you turn your bow to face the onslaught and distance yourself as much as possible. The rest of the time you pick up paddles that have been dropped in the river, retrieve sunglasses that have been knocked off someone's face and wait for the armistice.

Then you float into some rapids and the same kids who were just moving gallons of water around to wet other people shy away from being splashed by a wave. Interesting.