Monday, February 20, 2012

A Plea for Longer Receipts from Staples

I bought two items, Staples. Two.

All I get is four-feet of receipt? Why you holding out on me? I appreciate the Dostoevsky novel you included after the UPC numbers, but it's not one his better stories.

No trick photography needed....that's just a straight-up shot of enough receipt to produce diminishing perspective. 

To circle the earth with receipts from Staples, my calculations indicate I'll need to buy at least four items on my next visit to your fine store.

But how much of your markup goes to offset the barrels of ink piped into your receipt printing devices? Do you have forests in the back warehouse where you harvest the pulp to keep up with these receipts?

You insecure? Catch Officemax peeking at you from the next urinal over?

So many questions.

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