Eating the Scenery

 Furthermore Chieftain column, August 2012

It’s a shame I can’t talk myself into living somewhere crowded or ugly, where the odds would be much better for making big piles of money. I prefer the big mountains, trees and pretty stuff out here over big paychecks. It may not do much for my financial bottom line, but there’s another sort of bottom line and sometimes you’ve got to choose.

 People say you can’t eat the scenery. That’s supposed to be a reason to leave somewhere you like to move somewhere you don’t. Well, I’ve got a cookbook in the works that should put this can’t-eat-the-scenery argument to rest. I might even throw in a recipe or two for heavily populated areas, where there’s no scenery to be concerned about eating but the air is so thick you have to chew it first to get it down.

To eat the scenery in Wallowa County you will need one large mixing bowl, a pair of hiking boots, a dull kitchen knife from Soroptomist, a cutting board made from barnwood at least 80 years old, spices, whisk and an old iron skillet you got from someone you like.

 Allow plenty of time to gather ingredients for your scenery, because just like the grocery aisles in Wallowa County you will likely run into friends while shopping. Visiting with these people will take a while. Don’t rush it. This is the marinade. It’s part of the process. For spicy dishes, try talking about wolves or something to add some heat.

One of my favorite scenery dishes for special occasions is a nice batch of Zumwalt camas cakes with wildflower skewers over a bed of whole grain Hells Canyon. There’s a lot of flavors going on in this one, so don’t overdo it. Too much Hells Canyon can overpower the subtle textures of Zumwalt essence.

 For breakfast, you can’t go far wrong with a Ruby Peak frittata and a side of sesame scree, then add a dollop of Ice Lake snowfield. To sweeten it up, run a drizzle of mountain meadow syrup over the top. Any mountain meadow will do, but I get mine from the aspen grove up by Aneroid.

Chesnimnus hawthorn meat cakes are a stout hearty meal in the fall or winter. Sprinkle on a handful of habanero Hurricane Creek pine nuts, best gathered during a stroll up to Slick Rock on a nice day with a happy dog.

Many of these recipes are seasoned with an all-around spice I’ve developed that includes equal portions of Upper Imnaha, finely ground Bowlby stone, Tick Hill at sunset, Loop Road tamarack, Mount Joseph avalanche chute and pepper. It really brings out the flavors.

 The dessert chapter of the Wallowa County Scenery Cookbook includes Hat Point Road Crispies, Candied Lostine Canyon Fritters, Floating On Your Back in Wallowa Lake in August Bars and Lemon Rattlesnake Grade Sherbert.

It’s been slow going trying to finish this cookbook. One problem is the view out the window of my writing cabin requires a lot of looking at. Then rivers need to be floated, sundowns demand attention and walks need to be taken. City sidewalks are direct, but sidewalks out here can mean you end up meandering off to the side of whatever trail you intended to take. It’s all very time consuming. But if you do it right, the time it takes gives something back. A balanced diet is important.

I’ll get this cookbook done one of these days and hand a copy to anyone who tells me you can’t eat the scenery. The real problem with Wallowa County scenery isn’t whether you can eat it or not, it’s still being hungry for more. So remember to mix in your morels, venison, huckleberries, steelhead and whatever else with where you got them, stir, let simmer and enjoy. Bon appetit.